Monday, April 28, 2008

the hustle and flow

i'm leaving again in a little over two weeks. and i have a few pending projects and little steam to forge ahead. and so... what better thing to do than "blog"? it's like a need to just pour the noise outta me. when there's much to do, my inertia starts in bed. and sometimes i can do it, and make it down the hall but then i return. there's that productivity factor i have in me but can't seem to tap into. but damn, it always feels sooooooo goooooood... to close a door. finish a chapter. check it off the list. to just git 'er done... and yet here i am. staring at this screen, zapping away those precious little brain cells of energy, flattening my ass out... typing my way toward that inevitable headache. and why? well... it's rainy out for one. and... i'm afraid. i think that my test prints will come out lousy. so maybe if i don't do them... well i'll never know i guess. cut clip to the bigger picture, the greater metaphor. maybe if i don't give it a real shot i can hide in my cowardliness and never take that bite outta life. and never know how hard it is to be living the life i've wanted to live. cause what if it isn't what i want??? fuck i'm starting to sound like my least favorite director. neurotic. lost in my thoughts. not taking action when it offers the gratification i secretly desire.

so. i've decided to get on that plane. and why? well... i always get that fresh perspective when i do. and this is why i am free. free as a boid.